Negative emotions - we all experience them, right? They come and go, but what happens when they hit you hard? What are your options for dealing with them? How do you process these emotions? Do you resort to substances like drugs, alcohol, or retail therapy? There are several ways to handle them, which I'll be discussing. But first, you need to understand the effect they have on the body. Every emotion is stored in our cellular tissue, becoming a memory. So, even if you think you've effectively dealt with a certain emotion, it may resurface. Your body might experience it differently, causing pain, irritation, discomfort, disease, or even cancer. Your body doesn't want these unresolved memories, and if you haven't addressed the emotions, your body will find a way to get your attention until you do. If you decide to start healing yourself, these emotions may surface through your body, which can take days, months, years, or even several years. You might be wondering how this is possible - is it true? I'll share one of my personal experiences of processing emotions through my body, and then we'll discuss the options you have to deal with them.
Last year, when I was living in North Carolina, I was practicing hands-on healing work, primarily massage. One day, I noticed a small bump on one of my fingers, and upon closer inspection, I thought it might be a wart, although it didn't quite look like one. I didn't pay it much attention and assumed it would disappear on its own. However, after a few days, I noticed more of these bumps, around six on my fingers and on both hands. At this point, I began to feel concerned. A day later, my hands appeared to have developed a rash, but it was mainly under the skin, except for those few bumps I had initially discovered. It didn't itch, nor did it burn, but I was increasingly worried. I reached out to my Holistic Healer, who had me on a detox and nutritional/herbal formula. He reassured me that this was a positive sign that things were coming out. I agreed but remained somewhat concerned. I decided not to give massages until the issue resolved. However, after a week, it had only gotten worse. The rash began to surface, and I now had it on my stomach and feet. At this point, I was genuinely scared and began worrying that I had contracted something from a client. That possibility was not far from my mind.
After another week, things took a turn for the worse. The bumps grew larger and were raised above the skin's surface. They resembled sores but were not open. Now, I was really panicked and decided to take myself to a walk-in clinic. That was my first mistake, although I had an inkling it wouldn't help. What could they possibly tell me? I thought it was just a detox reaction. After waiting for two hours, the nurse took one look at my hand and said she couldn't help me and that I needed to go to the ER. Frustrated, I drove to the ER, where the wait was thankfully only 30 minutes. The new nurse from the ER examined my hand, asked me several questions, and then suggested, "I think you have secondary syphilis." I inquired about what that meant, and she explained that it was a sexually transmitted disease but treatable. She said she needed to draw blood and get a sample. As soon as she left the room, I grabbed my phone and began researching on Google, which only heightened my worry and anxiety. I went through the images section and was horrified by what I saw. Was this really happening? I knew deep down that this couldn't be it, but my heightened emotional state led to tears streaming down my face.
Another nurse entered to take a "sample" with a swab. I asked her what she was going to do with it, and she replied that she was going to swab my sore. I showed her that they were not open sores or anything to swab. This made me even more upset, but I calmed myself down because I knew that if it was indeed what they suspected, at least it was treatable. The nurse agreed that there was nothing to swab, and we proceeded with a blood test.
As I left the hospital, mortified, the worst part was that I had to wait three days for the test results. It was an agonizing three days. I tried to connect with my spirit but realized I couldn't see past my emotions and frustration. So, what did I do? I called my spiritual mentor, which I should have done in the first place. You know how sometimes you don't want to burden people with your issues. But considering that she was also a registered nurse, she should have been my first choice. I knew that this was something I was processing energetically and emotionally, and a simple detox would have cleared up any physical symptoms within a few weeks.
Thanks to my mentor, Nancy, we got to the bottom of it. As soon as she brought clarity to the situation and the emotions I was feeling, everything made sense. In short, she was able to view my body from an energetic perspective, and all she said was that I had a lot of anger and frustration coming up. My body didn't know how to process these emotions, so they manifested in my hands and feet. She was absolutely right. I had been suppressing and ignoring my frustration and anger about several life situations. I had been planning to deal with these emotions later. After performing some energy work and acknowledging my emotions, I began to work on processing them.
This experience was similar to a previous one I had, which involved severe swelling in my abdominal area. That time, I was processing the need to "know" and dealing with anxiety. Irritating as it may have been, I had also requested a swift release of my emotional baggage during that period.
Now, let's talk about your options when dealing with emotions. You have several, but let's discuss three of them. You could:
- Ignore the emotions and give yourself a hard time for having them.
- Dive deep into them, throw a pity party, and remain stuck there.
- Honor the emotion, accept that it's a part of healing, and give yourself a time limit before moving on.
So, let's discuss disappointment, which is a challenging emotion. It often triggers other emotions like anger, sadness, and self-loathing. But how about choosing option #3? Honoring an emotion can be incredibly powerful. Society often teaches us that emotions are bad. For men, they are seen as a sign of weakness, while for women, they are seen as excessive. Society encourages us to control our emotions, but I believe we should learn to honor them. Emotions can arise as protection, distractions, calls for attention, or victimization. However, it's important to remember that they don't define us. It's okay to feel emotions, but it's equally important to remember that they don't define us. It's okay to feel emotions, but it's equally important to acknowledge them. Sometimes, we might not even understand where a particular emotion is coming from, and that's perfectly fine. Some days, we might feel sadness for no apparent reason. Regardless of the severity of the emotion, we can choose how long we allow ourselves to stay in that emotional state.
For instance, if it's a fleeting feeling, we might only experience it for a brief moment. We can inquire why it's there, engage in some self-talk, and move on within minutes if it's not particularly intense. For example, we might say to ourselves, "I recognize you, 'sadness,' but I won't dwell here. I used to feel this way, but not anymore." It's helpful to anchor yourself in the present moment by reminding yourself of the current date and your age. This approach works whether the emotion is tied to a recent experience or something from years ago. The past is the past, and recognizing it as such can help you transition to the present.
However, when you find yourself deeply immersed in an emotion, people have various ways of dealing with it. Remember when I asked you about your "vice"? I could easily have gone home and consumed a bottle of wine in the past as a way to escape my emotions. While it might have provided temporary relief, it's essential to understand that such coping mechanisms can be more damaging than you realize.
If you feel that you're drowning in your emotions and are tempted to turn to your vice, consider making an agreement with yourself. Allow yourself to fully experience the emotion, and think about how long you'd like to stay in that emotional state. There have been times when I allowed myself to do nothing and stay in bed for three days because I knew I had a lot to process. This might be extreme for some or not enough time for others. It's crucial to check in with yourself and determine what's reasonable. This approach applies to any emotion or life situation. Once you make this agreement, dive into your feelings, knowing that the emotional storm will pass within the time you've allotted for it.
When that predetermined time arrives, honor your commitment to yourself. You may still feel a trace of the emotion, but self-talk can be immensely helpful. Remind your body and spirit that you've given the emotion its allotted time. If you require more time, make another arrangement to revisit it. Some emotions and circumstances are more challenging than others, and this tool allows you to begin processing them so they don't have long-term effects on your cellular body.
Emotions like loss, death, or unforgiveness can be particularly challenging to address. These emotions tend to recruit others, such as bitterness, hurt, sadness, anxiety, and depression, if left unattended. Don't let yourself avoid or stay stuck in an emotion. If you're grappling with an emotion from the past, let it go. It's a common misconception that healing an emotion means forgetting about it. You can still remember an event or issue without holding onto the associated emotions. The moment you begin emotionally relating to it, use self-talk. Say something like, "I remember you, I remember that feeling. It was in the past, not today. I won't forget you, but I won't stay in this emotion."
Emotional healing is a powerful process that can happen instantaneously or gradually. Have you been wanting to forgive someone? Have you been wanting to let go of a particular emotion? Are you ready to heal? It can begin as soon as you say yes and make the decision. You have control over how you respond when the emotion resurfaces. Fill your life with love and light, releasing negative emotions to free yourself and those around you.
If you need clarification or would like more information, please feel free to comment or contact me. You don't have to process these emotions alone. Just say yes to healing.
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